Before you get started reading this post, you should know that this is just the beginning of a few posts that all tie in together. It is my hope that you come along for this mini-series ride &, if you feel so inclined to, share how you can relate!
I recently finished Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst. As I’ve mentioned before, the book’s theme is rejection, something with which I am closely acquainted. As I read the last word on the last page of the book, my heart sunk. I didn’t want it to end. Lysa gets me. I wanted to spend more time with her, learning from her, connecting with her story. Upon turning the last page, I was pleasantly surprised to find a bonus chapter. I ate up every word quickly & slowly, all at once. I wanted to read every word right then, as I was hungry for more of someone who understands what parental rejection is like. I also wanted to savor the connection I felt to this lady who I have never met before, but who knew things about what I experience in my thought & heart life that most don’t understand.
Once I had gobbled up the bonus chapter, I realized there was more. YES! Score! There was an activity. As I read the instructions, I knew I was going to have to carve out some time to complete the activity. The instructions said to write down what rejection makes you feel. There were 5 blanks. I filled in each blank & it was draining. It took energy to be honest about my pain. Strangely, I felt empowered. I realized that courage was a necessary ingredient here. I needed to put in front of my eyes the truth about what had taken place within my heart & mind.
Here are the 5 byproducts of rejection that I named:
As I filled in the blanks in the book, I remembered that I had a pack of mini posters that had been collecting dust on top of my bookshelf. Well, the plastic wrap was collecting dust, not the actual mini posters… Anyways, I’d had this pack of mini posters for over a year & just hadn’t figured out what to use them for… until right at that moment. I retrieved the pack & was overjoyed to find that there were exactly 5 mini posters. This was the moment that specific pack was made for… and the crazy thing is that this pack of mini posters came from the leftovers of a teacher luncheon my church hosts every year. Even the leftover loaves & fish serve a purpose.
At the top of each mini poster, I penned one of the 5 emotions. Seeing them in big letters was… sobering? I’m not sure if that’s the exact feel, but it’s tough to admit out loud that you feel less than, forgotten, unworthy… all because someone else said so or their actions said so. Admitting those feelings makes me feel small, helpless & raw.
With being more of a visual person, I suppose I needed to see the feelings. Naming them was painfully acknowledging their sneaky, yet loud existence in my being. You can’t rid yourself of something unhealthy if you never recognize that it’s there in the first place…
Putting my less-than falsities on display has been the first step to rewiring how I view myself and to learning how the Creator of everything views me.
Have you ever considered what unhealthy identities you have adopted that impact your life? I encourage you to do some introspection in the upcoming week. You might find some things you need to throw out.
Part 2 with the remainder of the activity instructions coming soon! 🙂
(If you are in need of a figurative hand to hold while you navigate rejection in your life, Uninvited information can be found here: http://uninvitedbook.com/)